Parents: Talking About Identity and Equity with Young Children

The WGVU Education Team

• Published on February 1, 2022 • Comments

Colorful books February 2022 Parents Talking About Identity and Equity with Young Children

Why is it important to talk to young children about identity, equity and related issues such as racism?

If we want to raise successful future leaders with the ability to think critically, empathy is where it starts.

Children have the ability to develop bias early - in fact, as early as 3 months of age. They learn to assign value to physical attributes such as skin color and internalize the messages they receive from their family, media programming, and their community. When parents don't talk about topics such as racism, inequity or discrimination, children receive the message that parts of someone's identity are unimportant, which minimizes their child’s ability to recognize and empathize with the lived experiences of others. Additionally, the history of racism and discrimination in America continues to have an impact today - while uncomfortable, these conversations provide children with context for things that are happening in the present, and may help them process and think critically about what others are experiencing or what they may be experiencing themselves.

Empathy is an integral part of a child’s social-emotional skill set and a critical life skill. According to Zero to Three, empathy building starts with developing secure relationships with parents/caregivers and deepens as children look to parents/caregivers to help them understand the world around them. Clear communication and messages about the world, rooted in trusting relationships with parents/caregivers, further leads to children developing a sense of self that fuels independence between 18 and 24 months of age. As children begin to see themselves as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings, they can also begin to recognize others in a similar way while interacting in ways that demonstrate empathy. Young children can understand that their friend is not only sad, but begin to connect that their friend is sad because they lost a favorite toy.

Empathy allows children to build emotional attachments toward others. Not only does it impact a child's sense of identity growing up, as adults, empathy also great impacts one's ability to connect and communicate with others, along with the ability to maintain healthy relationships and boundaries. Additionally, thought-leader in economics, business and industry, Forbes says empathy is the most important skill for leaders to have, saying that it leads to greater outcomes for professional and personal success. Forbes also strongly rejects the idea that empathy is a 'soft skill', reporting that one's empathy can impact cooperation, innovation, identity, and even overall success in the workplace.

Looking for ideas to build empathy and develop positive self-identity with your child?

We've got some great resources to help you get started!

Steps for Talking to Your Child About Identity and Equity

Prepare. Be mindful. Educate yourself: do your research, practice, check your own biases.
Keep it age-appropriate. Reading picture books or watching a video together can offer a great starting point for conversations.
Ask Questions. Check for understanding and gauge your child’s emotional reactions.
'I don't know' is valid. It’s okay to not have all of the answers.
Keep Learning. Develop racial, cultural, and equity literacies.
Teach Inclusive Language. Practice with your child. Use a strengths-based lens.
Keep Talking. Keep the conversation going.